We all march in. First, the nine of us, and then Frank Tangretti, and finally, Regis Philbin. It's chilly, and purple, and smoky, and the crowd is cheering loudly. Then, we take our seats.... well, the nine of us anyway. Regis does as well, for a moment, presumably to get his bearings.
And he started screaming. Angrily and profanely. At the very sweet young woman holding the cue cards. To "lift up the fucking cards! I can't see them! It's fucking dark over there!"
Then he left, with Frank, to go offstage.
And the theme music starts! And Frank and Regis walk in and sit down. Frank had gotten to the $2,000 question the night before. They make some small talk about how the game is played, and the lifelines, and then it begins!
The $4000, $8000, $16000 and $32000 questions - the 2nd plateau - went rather quickly. Of course, Frank did have time to talk through them and think about the questions. A lot of his talking and thinking through ended up on the cutting room floor, of course.
This is a good time to mention that the producers know how many questions at each level they can get through between commercial breaks. And they do it all in virtually one take. Which means that the menacing music you hear throughout the show as if to add jeopardy to the thought process - well, that's pretty much continuous. They do edit that during prep for air, but for the most part, we in the studio are hearing what you are hearing on TV.
So, we go to commercial break, which means we go to bathroom break. That's good. I have to pee. So does my very pregnant wife. Little did we know what was to come on that front. I was allowed to see her during this break.... but we were escorted at all times. We could not taint the taping.
Back to our seats, and taping continues. Frank is currently appearing in a local production of "The Wizard of Oz", and he regales the audience with a song that you didn't hear in the movie. His wife, who is a nice and charming lady, rolls her eyes and makes comments that are caught by the microphone! She's really funny.
The questioning continues. Frank gets the $64000 question correct, but blows the $125,000. Awwww. Frank's day is over, but he's a bit richer, and very jolly for the experience.
Wait! I'm on! Regis pronounces eight out of nine names correctly. Poor Dick Glaser. His last name is pronounced "Glass-er" but Regis said "Glazer". He got D'Orazio right, though. I was looking and smiling and waving at the camera for my .5 seconds on screen. Surely, that's all I could hope to get.
Let's play! I don't remember the question exactly, but I think it was putting philosophers in order of their birth country, starting in the US and going east.... I do have video of all of this, but I don't watch it much. I will put clips up later! Anyway, I didn't win this round. Nick Meyer - remember, my Fastest Finger nemesis - did, though. And he went to the hot seat.
Commercial/bathroom break 2!
I liked Nick, to be completely honest. No one else did, though. After this, you won't, either.
Nick had a friend with him - a male, named Johan, as I recall (I really have to go back and watch the episode again) - who attended because his girlfriend could not. In the Hot Seat, with Regis, he did come across as arrogant. That was not the impression I had of Nick Meyer at all, outside of that seat.
Frankly, Nick's time with Regis was fairly uneventful for the first 10 questions. He got to $16,000 in relatively short order. Which made me very happy. I wanted a 2nd shot at the Fastest Finger to get into the hot seat myself! Nick's speed was only going to help me with that.
Nick did struggle with one question: how many antennae does a lobster have? I knew it, but he needed two lifelines to figure out this $8,000 question.
Little did I know what was ahead.
We did have another commercial break before Nick reached the plateau. I made sure I gave him some encouraging words, even if I was hoping he'd fall flat on his ass and be done, already. I say that, but I wasn't, really. I hoped he did well, found a place to quit, and let me have a chance.
We returned to our seats from commercial... and the marathon began!
Three questions.
$32,000 - What is the southernmost capital in the United States. The answer was "Austin, TX". I knew this pretty quickly. It took Nick about 15 minutes.
$64,000 - What is the name of the character who became a hero of the "male movement" through Robert Bly's 1990 book. Nick knew this in less than 5 minutes - Iron John. This is the only question in his stack I did not know instantly. So I give him a lot of credit.
$125,000 - In 1984, who won the first-ever women's Olympic marathon? A. Rosa Mota (the cheater), B. Joan Benoit, C. Grete Waitz, D. Mary Decker Slaney (who ran less than the marathon and was skiped accidentally by Zola Budd). Yes, I knew this one quickly as well. He didn't. He got the right answer (B) in about 20 minutes. He was pretty close to answering Rosa Mota. He didn't do that, though. I was a runner in high school. I knew who Joan Benoit was.
Commercial break! OK, let's all go pee. Nick was sequestered this time.
And I was starting to get a little agitated. I was hungry, and I knew we were running out of episode. I was hoping I'd get a chance, but it was looking slim.
Back to the seat for $250,000
What color best describes the sand of the Kalahari Desert? Red, White, Grey, Black. Well, I knew about the Red Kalahari. Clearly, Nick, who kept bringing up Botswana, did not. And so he babbled on about it for more than a half hour.
This is where the phone-a-friend was used.
This is a good time to explain the phone-a-friend. I was asked to supply a list of five people to be my lifelines. I chose four that I knew very well - my father-in-law (who is really good at American war history), my brother-in-law Greg (who is a music guy who knows a lot about sports), my sister-in-law Mary (who knows a fair amount about pop culture) and my brother-in-law Mark (who has Internet access). My 5th lifeline was my boss. He had a roomful of people gathered and was having a party. If I were to call him, he would shout my question to the room for an answer. As it turns out, this is within the game rules, and a common practice.
All five of my lifelines got several phone calls that day. At this point, they had received two - one making sure they were ready, and one telling them that the episode had begun. They needed to know that this was an all-day commitment - that there might be two episodes to worry about - and if they were not able to fulfill it, they needed to let the producers know immediately.
I will let you know as this story goes on when other phone calls were made to phone-a-friends.
Now, the phone rings right in the studio - not really - Jason (the friend) was prepped ahead of time by producers. But Nick only got to talk to him for 30 seconds. And what you see on TV, is really what is happening - a clock on screen, the tick-tock sound.
His phone-a-friend was useless. Completely. So Nick guessed. And was cocky and angry when he said "Final Answer, Regis."
Correct.
And so we were up to the infamous $500,000 question. The one where Nick sat and thought and talked and sat and talked and thought. For fifty-two minutes!
Which of the following actresses was in the original 1968 cast of the Broadway Muscial 'Hair'? A: Susan Sarandon B: Bette Midler C: Glenn Close D: Diane Keaton.
My reasoning: Bette Midler worked in bathhouses in the 70's. Susan Sarandon starred in "Rocky Horror" and was really young. Glenn Close was a possibility, but her career was late-blooming. So, I deduced that the answer was Diane Keaton.
Nick took 52 minutes of listening to Regis telling him that people would think more of him if he walked away. And scattered boos. And being kind of quiet. With that damn music and the cold studio.
He guessed Bette Midler very early. And said "Final Answer" on that after 52 minutes.
52 minutes.
The audience cheered when he said "Final Answer." And louder the cheers were when Regis said the answer was Diane Keaton!!
Goodbye, Nick.
Needless to say, I would not see Nick again until the next day. He was sequestered. Because he would have been lynched. I felt a little bad for him.... well, I'm getting ahead of the story just a little bit. More on that later.
Well, no time for a commercial break. There's still time in the episode to fit in one more contestant! Believe me, they were rushing. Fastest finger! Hurry Up!
"Put the following movies in the order of their theatrical debut, starting with the most recent"
Planet of the Apes
Any Which Way You Can
12 Monkeys
George of the Jungle.
5.18 seconds later, I had won. By .2 seconds.I was quite excited. I got up, and repreatedly pumped my fists. Woo hoo! High fives! Hugs for Regis!!!!!!!!!!!!
And now, I was drained. Thank GOD we got a commercial break! My wife found me - she was about to get moved to a new seat - but she really really had to pee. She was pregnant and had to quietly hold it for two hours, thanks to Nick. Needless to say, she was NOT Nick's biggest fan.
I peed as well. And then took my HOT SEAT!
I was really glazed over as I had some banter with Regis. So did Linda, who stumbled over how to describe timing of our impending baby. We were told in no uncertain terms that we needed to uphold the illusion that we were in the studio on August 17, and not July 25.
OK! Let's Play!
For $100 - Someone who asks you a series of question is said to be "giving you the what?" Third Degree.
$200 - A silly person is often compared to what animal? I've been called a silly goose for years!!!!
$300 - According to the opening sequence of the original TV series "Star Trek," what is the final frontier? I started laughing. And I was asked why. Of course. I am not a fan of Star Trek, so for me to get this question (which I answered correctly) was funny. Space.
$500 - How many cells make up a protozoan? Uh oh. Where's 1? Oh, whew! It's D.
$1,000 - In the children's game of Old Maid, which of the following cards is removed from the deck before play starts? A. A jack B. A queen C. A king D. An ace.
Oh shit. I had only ever played the game with an Old Maid deck printed expressly for this purpose. So I thought about it. So I asked the audience.
They guessed Ace. I knew that was wrong. So Regis tried to talk me through the question. And I didn't listen to him. I went with my gut - a queen.
You can see the relief on Linda's face when I am right.
HORN!
Episode over. Regis and I are positioned to greet the camera as it pans away at the end of the episode. Needless to say, I was spent, and the camera shows it. I look like a deer in headlights, don't I?
While all this is going on, Regis is talking with me. He tells me "The hard part's over. You don't have to worry about all that shit anymore." Referring to the Fastest Finger competition. He was quite encouraging.
This was as nice as Regis would be with me
A normal taping takes less than two hours. Because of Nick's shenanigans, this one took three. Because of that, all the Episode 2 contestants had dinner. They didn't know who the carryover contestant was - they would very soon. But I did not get dinner. And neither did my wife.
Producers promised me they would run out to get me and my wife something to eat, and they would get it to us as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, that wasn't going to be right now, because we had to go change our clothes and get back into makeup - and we only had 35 minutes until the next taping.
This was all so fast. Little did I know that time was about to STOP.
No comments:
Post a Comment